SP Redux
by NightcatMau
Summary: Valduggery that will not be quite as fluffy will hopefully become a mix of old and new stories. First I bring you The Cat, Lido Shuffle and Say It Isn't So.
1. The Cat

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. There is Valduggery here, you'll just have to wait for it. Oh, Val when you at last meet her is in her 20s here. Spoilers, obviously.

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant was led roughly into the cell, his hands bound in cuffs behind him. He was left bound, even though the gaol was the finest the magical world had to offer. While people were busy hating him and insulting him, a Tortoiseshell Persian she-cat slipped into the room, her green eyes taking the sight in. She leapt up on the seated former detective's lap, arching her back and hissing protectively. The gaolers laughed. For they knew if Skulduggery Pleasant hated one thing, it was cats.

"Looks like you got a little friend, skeleton." One jeered.

"Please get rid of the mangy beast." Skulduggery said, head bowed in defeat. They'd beaten him, and the cat could tell he was sore. Lightning quick she was off his lap somersaulting in the air over grasping hands and shouting men, and she hit the stone wall, claws out. Somehow she raced up the wall and shoved herself into a cranny far above their heads.

A warning howl made the men reluctant to retrieve her. They left her there, yowling bitter defiance. As soon as they left she fell silent.

* * *

That night the cat crept out on whisper-quiet feet, but she knew he heard her. She came down to the bunk where he sat, not having moved an inch. He'd never fought back, never did anything. Somehow the room left him enough magic that he didn't fall to pieces, but he was still slated for execution in the morning. The cat gave a sad cry and leapt lightly to his shoulders. She butted her head into his repeatedly, patted her paws on his cheeks, wrapped her tail around his neck. She raced down and laid on the floor looking at him upside down, until finally he laughed softly.

"I don't like cats, Little Cat, but you're OK." He said. She sat of his lap and purred for hours, keeping vigil with him until the morning.

* * *

In the morning the Skeleton Detective's head came up as his door opened and they came in for him roughly. He didn't see the cat weave her way through a confused tangle of men's feet and out the door to freedom, but she did. The cat darted from shadow to shadow keeping ahead of the slowly moving group, making it to the execution ground ahead of time. Stupidly, they had wanted Skulduggery dead in the sun where those who hated him for the at long last revealed truth could see him die.

She crouched in the shadows and waited.

* * *

The procession came out at last, and Skulduggery was led, still cuffed, to the man who would be his executioner. If enough of his bones were crushed even Skulduggery would die, and the man's steely grip would turn him into powder, bone by bone.

The man raised his hand, intent on giving Skulduggery just a taste of the pain he'd feel by touching his jaw, and the cat exploded out of nowhere howling in fury, launching herself right for the man's face, clawing and biting. She leapt straight up before he could grab her, and somersaulted over to Skulduggery, sailing past his shoulder, twisting in midair.

She brought herself down on his cuffs, jarring all of her weight to one side, popping the skeletal hand loose. Skulduggery apparently knew enough to run as she grabbed the gloved hand in her jaws, and fled ahead of him tail plumed out in either fright or joy. She looked back to make certain he was following then piled on the speed. She led him on a merry chase as they escaped through a gap in the wall, running out among civilians and through back alleys, and all sorts of wonderful confusing ways that confounded their pursuers until they turned around a corner and there sat the Bentley.

Skulduggery got in, finding the keys in the ignition, putting the car into drive one-handed. The cat dropped his other hand at last as the Bently roared down the roads, and Skulduggery put it on with a painful grunt.

He looked over at the cat and held down his cuffed hand. "I don't suppose claws can spring locks, can they?" He asked. And because she was a rather magical cat, hers did. Skulduggery's magic flooded back in him and he sighed in evident pleasure. He looked over at the cat and spoke again. "I have no idea how you did it, but I know now that's you, Valkyrie Cain."

The cat purred loudly and puffed out her chest and he noticed a medallion on her long-furred chest, a curious green tear-shaped pendant. She cocked her head and he removed it, then turned his attention back to the road. The cat flipped herself on her hips to sit like a human in her seat as the transformation began. It only took and instant and Valkyrie Cain sat beside her partner.

She grinned over at Skulduggery and he shook his head in amazement. Remembering belatedly to reach under his collar and tap the symbols that brought down his facade.

"Seatbelt. Now do I get to ask why you risked certain death to help Lord Vile escape execution?" Skulduggery asked, exasperation in his voice.

"Because I'm in love with you, Skulduggery, and I couldn't think of a more subtle way for you to notice me."

His head flicked over to her in evident surprise, a small smile coming to his features, and he returned his gaze to the road reluctantly.

"You always were a strange young woman, still I compliment you on your taste in men. I don't know if you realize this, but I don't have a plan."

"Go to the docks, there will be a ferry waiting, drive on."

He did as she said, and there was a ferry waiting, and he drove on. He turned to her. "Not exactly, the fastest mode of escape from Ireland, Valkyrie."

She leaned forward and kissed him. "The owner of the ferry owes me a favour. There's a speedboat under a certain bridge, we escape in that. They can't chase us boldly in daylight, and they don't dare dress as civilian police and bring out planes and the like do they?"

"You clever girl!" He kissed her back and followed her to the waiting speedboat.

* * *

Years later they had settled in America under assumed names and Skulduggery at last asked her the question that had bothered him in all the years since they had escaped that day. "I think as your husband I can at last ask, where did you get that necklace from?"

"My mother was a witch, Skulduggery, and not the kind you're thinking of. Just because people aren't sorcerors doesn't mean they aren't magical." He smiled at his wife and was content after that to let sleeping cats lie.

* * *

 **Note: This story is dedicated to my mom, an actual witch even though she never practiced who came to me in a dream tonight telling me not to give up on my writing, even though I felt my stories were failures. She suggested the storyline just like she used to, so thanks, mom! I wrote my littermate and first cat companion into the story to salute the two women who loved me enough to return from beyond the veil to encourage me. I don't actually think Skulduggery dislikes cats, but I doubt he's be thrilled with anything that would shed all over his suits.**


	2. The Cat II

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Lord Vile, China, or Valkyrie. I'm calling telepathy linking here. This takes place about six months after the main action of Chapter One, so Val is almost 21, still holding on to 20.

* * *

The cat rode happily on the skeleton's shoulders as he sauntered through the flea market. The sun felt good on her warm fur, and she purred in pleasure, kneading her paws rhythmically into his shoulder, her claws sheathed. _You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?_ He linked.

The cat butted her head against his facade-covered skull in adoration. _Of course I am. You're very warm and the sun is so nice, ohhh look, catnip toys! Can I have one?_

Skulduggery laughed softly, reaching up to stroke the cat's fur. "You do remember you are human, right? But yes, I'll get you one. It will make a good cover for our investigation if nothing else."

The cat jumped down lithely, pranced over to the box, rearing up to put two paws on the rim. She reached in a deft paw and tossed a multi-coloured pompom to him, so doused in catnip she was practically drooling. _That one, please!_

Skulduggery laughed, paying the amused seller, his unfocused eyes taking in his surroundings. There was no suspicious activity here, but in America they had had to start all over again, hence following up a vague lead of "supernatural" activity. He waved the toy at the cat who weaved figure eights before him in delight, hopping about and dancing on her back paws, singing to him prettily. He grinned at her, leading her to an open area away from the sellers and tossed the toy.

The cat did an acrobatic leap for the toy, continuing up even as she snagged it with one claw, looking at him in delight. But her words in his head showed him she had the case firmly in mind. _We were followed._

Skulduggery turned casually, resisting the automatic urge to grab his gun. Before him stood a woman in a flowing black robe like a Necromancer, but she smiled and shook her head.

"Hello, daughter." She crouched down and called to the cat, who after a moment, ran to her and greeted her with purring adoration.

"I apologize for the disguise, but I can hardly wear my true form here." The cat was rolling in ecstacy now, and Skulduggery stared at her in disbelief.

 _Stop that!_ He linked.

 _But this is Bastet, Skullduggery, I literally can't help myself._ She did manage to flip herself over at last however and trotted to Skulduggery, dropping the pompom she still held in her jaws in his waiting hand. _Sorry._ She leaned into him, and he picked her up, cradling her into his chest.

 _I was afraid for you, you must remember people can hurt you when you're this small. He soothed. Go find an empty area and return to me in your normal form._ He set her down and she trotted off, soon disappearing into what seemed to be an empty tent, she emerged a short time later and walked back to him, a soft smile on her face.

Bastet smiled at the both. "My daughter can transform due to the gift of the necklace. All who become feline or are witches are my daughters. I've come to warn you, my child, danger lurks here and neither of you are safe. Not even my powers can thwart what will happen."

"What will happen?" Skulduggery asked.

"That I cannot say. I only know it involves the element of fire. Something I am linked to, but that was a very long time ago. I am less the war goddess and more of the contented hearth cat now, I afraid."

"You aren't either. Gods and Goddesses don't exist." Skulduggery stated flatly. He turned to Valkyrie. "With all due respect to whatever you mother taught you, the woman before you is a clever witch at best, a charlatan at the worst." He turned to confront the woman who called herself Bastet again, but she was gone.

* * *

They were at lunch, and Valkyrie had questions for him. "If she wasn't Bastet how did I know her name, why would I react so strongly?"

"It was her magic, much like China's ability to make people love her. It worked on you because you were feline, and also because you wanted very much for it to be the real Bastet, which of course there isn't one. I've taught you before about Gods and Goddesses, Valkyrie, they aren't real. Depending on that woman would only get you hurt."

She sighed, consuming some of her burger before answering, making a mental note to train more before all the fast food she'd been consuming caught up with her. "You're right, of course. I even knew it. Well I guess we've met who is causing the disturbances. But she seemed so nice."

"China seemed nice too; we were good friends until I found out she helped murder my family."

"Point taken. Which reminds me, why wasn't Ghastly at your execution?"

"I can't imagine, and it is hardly something I can call the man and ask him about."

"Why not?" Asked a familiar voice. They both turned and froze, seeing Ghastly Bespoke. Tanith stood beside them and they smiled at the frozen detectives, but there was no malice in it.

"How did you find us?" Skulduggery asked dully, sounding as if he were sure he was about to be killed, Valkyrie right along with him.

Ghastly and Tanith sat down, ordering burgers themselves. "Who do you two think helped keep your pursuers busy after your escape? We had to flee ourselves shortly after, and heard about you by chance when we reached America."

"But your mother-" Skulduggery began.

"Was a fool to face Lord Vile alone. I knew for a long time to be honest. Vile mirrored too many of your traits and fighting skills to be anyone else. I don't blame you for one second for how you reacted to loosing your family. But you came back to us, Skulduggery. You're like a brother to me, and you know that."

"You've known for that long?" Skulduggery breathed, speechless.

"Yes, and seeing the mercy you chose to show China confirmed what a good man you've become. You could have killed her that day, but you didn't, I know, partially for Valkyrie's sake."

Ghastly turned to smile at Valkyrie and her bunched shoulders relaxed at last. Tanith reached out a hand, squeezing her younger sister's hand. "Hey sis, pretty impressive with the cat magic. But that woman is bad news for sure. Remember I'm an Adept so trust me when I tell you anything you saw was all smoke and mirrors."

Valkyrie smiled at her friend, grateful to see that they all at least had each other in this strange New World.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it!**


	3. Lido Shuffle

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. Val is about oh, 40 here, her POV. She's sent to an alternate time and place to help Lord Vile of all people. Spoilers, obviously.

* * *

I was nervous, but I wouldn't let Skulduggery see it. I smiled at him bravely, nodding to show I understood his final instructions.

"As odd as it would seem, Valkyrie, you are going back in time, to save Lord Vile, not in our dimension of course. You'll be quite safe as he'll already be rendered helpless by the time you arrive. Your only job is to talk to him for two weeks, to offer mild protection or whatever you see fit. Just tell him about your Lord Vile, not mentioning my actual name of course, since he might not respond too well to that. Understood? Good."

I leaned in and hugged him at his invitation, breathing in the wonderful mix of wool and bone that always let me know I was safe because it meant he was near. He rarely hugged me any more, so I appreciated the gesture.

All too soon Skulduggery was pulling back and I was walking towards the portal, just a shimmering blue opening on the Sanctuary wall. I took a deep breath, not looking back because I knew I wouldn't leave if I did, and plunged in.

* * *

I came out in a forest, the trees towering overhead and I scanned the muddy road quickly looking for hoofprints or some other clue as to where I'd find Vile. There was nothing, which was odd considering the mud so I tried sensing the air currents and still nothing. Lastly I called on my ring, hoping Vile wouldn't sense the Necromancy and spring at me from out of nowhere as I didn't trust that he was at all helpless. I sensed something. The ring went cold, but barely, as if the signal was weak.

I walked off the road, following the faint signal through the undergrowth, and then I saw him. Lord Vile. His black armour throwing back what little sunlight that filtered through the trees, his presence still awe-inspiring even without his shadows. The moment the lack of shadows clicked in my mind I went closer, kneeling down to see if he was even alive. He was prone, not moving. My heart pounded and I expected an attack, but he seemed unable to move, his whole body rigid. The gaze behind the visor was still baleful and I knew he'd kill me if he could.

"Lord Vile." I said, and the baleful glare only intensified, his hatred for me all too clear. But I couldn't hate him in return. This was the future Skulduggery of this dimension, so I was careful as I helped him into a sitting position, realizing that he was pliable like a doll, but unable to move on his own. I felt a stab of compassion for him, since I knew it had to be killing him inside.

He couldn't move, but I knew he would have strangled me if he could by what sounded like the barest scrabble of skeletal hands in his heavy gauntlets. I smiled at him. "I'm not afraid of you." I said gently. "Where I come from, when I come from, well, I have no reason to fear you. I've been sent here to help you." Vile held my gaze and said nothing. I reminded myself that this was the future Skulduggery, that my mission was to protect him and talk to him no matter how much he hated me. But first I wanted him off the muddy ground.

I stood up, surveying the woods and saw a cave on a hillside. Hopefully only one entrance and we'd be out of the elements. I'd been told we'd have shelter so I guessed that was it. I turned back to Vile, drawing on the shadows the covered the dimly lit forest floor, standing him upright, the carrying him along beside me. It was odd, but I respected him enough to not just drag him along so I was careful with him. I set him at the cave entrance and he sagged as soon as his feet touched the ground. I went to him, putting on hand on his armoured chest, using the other to test the shadows inside the cave to make sure it was clear.

I tried to ignore the hateful gaze I could feel boring into me, and used the shadows to get him inside sitting him down along a natural rock shelf on the back wall of the cave. I shook the hand that had touched his chest, trying to get the feeling back into it. It had gone numb from the sheer intensity of touching Vile's armour, which was glacial.

I wondered if he was cold, I knew I was so I left him there and gathered kindling and firewood, starting a small fire for us. I looked at him, and although he faced straight ahead I knew his gaze was locked on me. Lord Vile seemed to try to hold me with his gaze, then he sagged from his effort, tilting over. Luckily into the cave wall so he didn't fall.

I went to him, steadying him with my hands, ignoring the pain touching him caused. He was the future Skulduggery here, I reminded myself. If I could love and care for my partner, if I could accept that he had once been Lord Vile, then I could help the man in front of me, because he might have a Valkyrie of his own some day who would need him every bit as much as I needed Skulduggery.

Tears came to my eyes and I could sense the contempt in Vile's visored gaze. "You think I'm crying for you?" I growled. "I miss my Lord Vile, that's all." I went back to the fire and I couldn't look at him for the longest time. Vile for his part seemed to shut down like Skulduggery did at times, and I felt him somehow retreating from my presence.

I left him to it, knowing it would be worse than useless to bother him. I felt useless then and there and wondered how on Earth Skulduggery thought my talking to this Vile would ever help anybody.

* * *

I had slept for a while and when I awakened it was nearing twilight. I rose to go for more wood and noticed several neatly stacked cords at the cave entrance, along with a basket of food. I froze. Skulduggery had said we'd have unseen protection all around us, but I didn't like the idea they had been there while we had both been helpless. I got some wood and tended to the fire, muttering to myself, not caring if Lord Vile heard me or not. "Just great, perfect. You're here less than a day and you almost manage to get Lord Vile killed. Way to complete the mission, idiot." I was careful not to say my name since Skulduggery and the others had advised me not to, and I knew my appearance was so different even my own mother wouldn't have known me.

Not that I saw how it mattered unless this Vile would meet his own Valkyrie some day. The thought made me smile. I knew it was time to start talking to him, he seemed a little more relaxed, as if wherever he'd gone to had calmed him. I wondered if it was to see his wife and child if only in his memories, but I didn't want to be cruel and hurt him by asking.

He caught me looking at him and his gaze was calm though I could swear he inclined his head fraction of a centimeter towards the basket. He had. He repeated the gesture and I nodded, rising to get some bread and cold meat. There was a leather flask of fresh water as well. I took the meal back to the fire, eating slowly. Skulduggery told me Lord Vile had rarely if ever spoke so I wasn't surprised he'd used a gesture to communicate. I was surprised he'd wanted me to eat, since he wasn't known for his compassion.

I looked over at Lord Vile, trying to imagine what he was thinking. He didn't offer any clues, so I spoke. "You know, my Vile would have kept watch over me as I slept. Even if he was unable to move, he still wouldn't back down. He taught me that, to never back down." Vile glanced over at me and I knew he'd kept watch. Strange.

"Well, I'm here to watch over you for two weeks, and he wanted me to tell you about him, or rather, about us. I suppose I should start with the night I met him, you would have loved it. A family member had died, and I got the wonderful idea to spend the night alone at his house, even though I was only twelve. I missed him, and I needed the time alone with him, if it makes sense."

"I wasn't there that long when a man showed up, he got in, I can't ever remember how, I just remember I was trying to fight and doing a poor job of it." I glanced over at Vile and swore he looked faintly amused. I blinked, then continued. "I knew I was going to die, but I fought anyways. Suddenly the front door exploded inwards and Lord Vile came in, driving the man away from me. He set him on fire, then he shot him. I liked that."

Now I could feel Vile's amusement. "Well, in the fight the disguise he wears, we're in the future from you, no armour, came loose. Suddenly he was towering over me, or it felt like it, though he swears he was across the room. I, I uh-" I could feel Lord Vile's curiosity. "I blacked out, OK? Don't judge." I swore I heard a snort of laughter but I had to be imagining things. Lord Vile never laughed.

"But when I awoke, he was there. He made me tea, of all things. Um, leaves boiled in water, it tastes better than it sounds. The point is, he stayed, he protected me, and we stayed together after that, although I had to take his hat hostage." I looked over at Vile, he seemed to be far away, yet still listening. "You know, I just realized he could have always found another hat, I'm sure he had one somewhere nearby." I left out the Bentley, Skulduggery having warned me not to give too many specific details, though he'd been rather insistent Vile know about the hat.

"So he chose to take me with him. I became his partner, though he would say student. Then he's always said strange things like that. Unlike you, he's never silent." I looked over at Vile again, making sure he was still OK. He seemed fine. I got up and walked to the cave entrance, looking out into the moonlit night. I heard a vague metallic sound. I turned around and Vile was moving his head ever so slightly, trying to draw me back away from the entrance.

I went back to him. "We have people outside, I think we're safe. I wasn't in any danger, Lord Vile. You don't have to worry." But he did look worried. "All right, I'll stay back here near you. It's late so I suppose I should let the fire burn low and bank the embers." I made sure there was enough of them left to heat the cave through the night, then laid down close by Lord Vile and fell asleep.

* * *

In the morning he hadn't moved and I left the cave only for as long as I needed to, uneasy at the thought of how many pairs of unseen eyes could be watching me. I returned, replenishing the fire, and finding the last of the bread in the basket. Vile watched me as I ate and I wondered if he was thinking of his family. I'd never knew how old Skulduggery's child was, or if he'd had a son or daughter. He never talked about his family, ever. I never brought them up, respecting his silence.

But the look Vile was giving me wasn't exactly paternal either. He seemed interested to see if I'd speak to him again, so I nodded in his direction. "Good morning, Lord Vile. You had a good night?" He tilted his head in indifference. He seemed to be trying to communicate in return. I looked at him, reading his glance, then smiled.

"Yes, I slept well, thank you. Don't look so surprised. I've been with my Vile for decades now. I can read his face, even if he doesn't believe me. I can read how he looks at me, though he won't believe that, either. He's a very annoying man at times. Not mostly, but sometimes. But he's trained me to fight, so there is that." Vile's interest seemed perked. Skulduggery told me to use my own judgment as to what to tell Lord Vile. He had no problem with Vile knowing about the Sanctuary or his work, he even thought it would help. But he left the telling up to me.

"He's taught me all sorts of things. Elemental magic, combat maneuvers, that sort of thing. Not Necromancy though. He has a deep and abiding hatred for it. Sometimes I think he hates me because of it, I know he hates my ring." I looked over at Vile, he seemed slightly angry. I shrugged. "He no longer wears his armour, he left that part of him behind a long time ago. He told me once there was no longer a point left to being what he was any longer. So he became something different."

Vile seemed thoughtful, but said nothing. "We track people, we fight them, rarely, very rarely we kill them if there is no other choice. We make arrests mostly." Vile to his credit seemed to take the news well.

"I don't know how you became Lord Vile, but he, he lost his family. That is what made him into Lord Vile. But he stopped for some reason, he would never say why. I didn't meet him until hundreds of years after. He's over four hundred now, though I wouldn't have placed him over forty if he hadn't said anything. He wears his age well." Now where was this coming from? I had to get back on track.

"Back to what we do, then. We make arrests, we try to keep people from ending the world. He'd had the ability to end the world himself, but he said it just never seemed worth it. Unfortunately a lot of people don't agree with him. We've managed to beat them back though, so far at any rate."

Vile tilted his head and I could tell he was asking why I would bother. "You want the truth? I wouldn't bother. I couldn't care less about the world if I tried, but I care about him. He taught me everything I know about being a decent human being and although I don't find it fair that he holds me up to standards he didn't live up to himself at one time, I listen."

Vile's gaze seemed to grow cold. He didn't seem to like the idea of me showing disrespect for what Skulduggery taught me, he looked at me hard. "Go ahead and try something." I said calmly. "I said I'd keep you alive, I didn't say in how many pieces." He glared at me, and I fell silent. I honestly thought I was doing him more harm than good. I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day and he seemed fine with that.

* * *

That night I tended the fire, then looked at him. He still hadn't moved, and I regretted my sharp tongue. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. But he and I fight all the time. Though he is usually the one fighting for morals and I think they get in the way of things."

Vile looked over, his gaze almost seemed worried. I felt myself soften toward him. If this was a future Skulduggery I had to do better than this. "I'm sorry. No, I am. I just miss him so much right now. I didn't think it would be this hard being away from him, but it is. I'm used to seeing him every day, hearing his voice, enjoying his company. I can't even go a half day without talking to him at least. Sorry. He's really a decent, kind, and honourable man. A true gentleman, and my best friend. I'm just not taking being away from him very well. Sorry."

I looked away from Vile, refusing to cry in front of him though I'd felt tears in my eyes as I spoke. I did miss Skulduggery, I missed him so much I was surprised my heart kept beating. But he'd trusted me to do this. He'd sent me here, trusting me to help. "I made it two whole days so far, if we're lucky I'll make it longer. Have you ever missed anyone like that? Ever loved anyone to the point where you'd rather be with them than anywhere else, Lord Vile?"

I looked at him, but he shifted his eyes away from me. Of course, his family. How thickheaded could I be? "He'd be yelling at me right now of course, telling me he isn't worth getting upset over, but he is. He'd be telling me everything he wants you to know, most of which I've seem to have forgotten. I'll admit that sometimes all I hear is the sound of his voice."

I was sure I heard a snort this time. "What? He has a wonderful speaking voice. It's velvety, smooth, he's well aware of it too. Well sometimes he is, most of the time he pretends he isn't that distracting." Now what had I said that for? I felt heat rise to my face. I should blush, now Lord Vile must think he was dealing with some lovestruck apprentice.

I could feel his amusement. "What? I'm not in love." I growled. I swore I heard the faintest laughter and I glared at him. "I am not in love with Lord Vile. He's just, distracting at times, that's all."

I could feel Lord Vile's smile. He clearly didn't believe me for an instant.

* * *

The next morning I didn't move as soon as I was awake. I knew the portal wasn't due to open for another eleven days. A long time to hide if something went wrong. Why had Skulduggery sent me here? What good was I possibly doing? I couldn't even believe it when it had been suggested, but apparently people from this time and place had made contact. Whatever they'd done to Lord Vile would keep him from moving, drained his shadows, and apparently left him in a better mood than normal, though I was well aware he could be biding his time.

I felt alone and confused, and I didn't want to admit it, but I realized I'd felt towards the Lord Vile of my reality the same way I felt towards Skulduggery, something I tried not to think about. I sighed and got up, finding a new basket of food and fresh water. Lord Vile seemed far away again and I wondered if it was his version of meditating. I'd had breakfast, sat lost in thought, and was considering lunch when I could feel him return to life. He glanced over, seemingly unsure if he'd find me.

Then it hit me. What if this was the cave where Lord Vile made his decision and left his armour? What if I somehow was here to help him choose that path? But why me and not Skulduggery? Still I nodded to him in greeting, wondering if there was a way to reach him. "Do you ever get tired of being Lord Vile?" I asked.

His gaze met mine and I knew he had. He was tired of being Lord Vile. So that's what I was here for. I looked at him, choosing my words carefully. "Someone here obviously thinks you can change. We're being protected, and I was brought here to be with you. Maybe you have a partner waiting for you in your future. You don't have to choose to continue as you are, you can change."

He shifted his gaze away. "Lord Vile saved me in more ways than one, you know. I didn't want anything to do with the world. I was so hurt after my loss, so angry at the world. I wanted revenge. I would have just been destructive if he hadn't rescued me."

Vile looked at me again, interested. "I just couldn't process my loss. It seemed like everyone around me didn't want justice for my relative, but Vile did. He made sure I got it too. But he made sure I became a better person that I'd have liked to been. I'm not sure why, maybe because he regrets his own past, but he refuses to let me do the wrong thing when it really matters."

Vile tilted his head, and I swear he looked happy. "Of course, he will sometimes let me make terrible decisions because he says I won't learn my lesson any other way. He's right of course, though I think I learned stubbornness from him. I'm fairly sure I was the sweetest little girl you ever met before I met him."

This time I did hear soft laughter, and I realized I'd been trying to make Vile laugh. We'd only been together three days, but I liked him. I felt protective of him. He was no longer the terror of the battlefield he'd once been and I didn't mind protecting him now. I glanced over at him. "You know something? I like you. Not just for reminding me of him, but for your own self. You're intelligent, you've shown me civility, you've been protective, friendly. You're a decent man Lord Vile, far better than you think you are."

He tilted his head at me, considering. I'd noticed he could move a little more, but somehow it didn't frighten me. He hadn't tried to threaten me since the first day, and I thought even that had been more bitter defiance in the face of death than anything else.

He looked at me, wanting me to go on and I smiled at him. "This entire time people have underestimated you, haven't they? They don't see Lord Vile they see a machine, a living suit of armour they think they can exploit. They mistake you for being mindless, senseless, incapable of thought, but you aren't. You've been trapped in that armour, trapped by your anger for far too long, Lord Vile, and I know some day you'll find the strength to break free."

He looked stricken by my words, so I went and willingly sat down beside him, trying my best to ignore the searing cold of his armour. "You can't change your past, but you can change your future. You have people waiting for you, Lord Vile. People that miss you so much and wonder why you went away. I understand why you did, I truly do, and I don't judge you, not ever. You've needed to be Lord Vile to process your loss, your grief. I get that. But you are so much more than that, you are so much better than that. You were a hero once, you can be again."

He smiled behind his armour, a gauntleted hand reaching for mine. I took his, the cold seemingly not so intense any longer, or I was just getting used to it. I stayed with him like that for the longest time until he once again tilted his head towards the food basket. I smiled and squeezed his hand before getting up. He seemed so much like Skulduggery at that moment, my Skulduggery, that he was lucky I didn't kiss him.

* * *

I didn't talk much the rest of the day, but only because I didn't need to. Vile made it clear in his own way that he liked having me there beside him, so I just sat there, enjoying his company, lost in my own thoughts as he was lost in his.

After I ate that night I laid down beside him, feeling him keeping watch. I could have sworn as I fell to sleep that he had moved a gauntleted hand over to slowly stroke my head, but I was sure I was imagining things.

* * *

The rest of our time seemed to pass far more quickly than I'd have thought possible. By the dawn of the last day I found myself torn between leaving Lord Vile and going home to Skulduggery. Vile was fully capable of moving by this time, and he'd arisen before me, stoking the fire and bringing the basket to me as I arose. He cocked his head in a friendly greeting, and I smiled at him. I knew he wasn't going back to being what he was, and whatever else he needed to hear from me today, I'd let him choose. After I ate I could feel his gaze, and I knew he was eager to hear how I felt about going home. He seemed happy I'd see my own Lord Vile again.

"I will be happy to see him." I admitted. "He's my best friend, my partner, and I'll admit it, my mentor. Vile is the centre of my Universe, even if he seems blissfully unaware of it. I get up every morning just because I know he'll be there, though I know that won't always be so."

Vile looked at me, his gaze friendly, encouraging me to go on. "He's, well, he's Lord Vile. He's an independent man, I don't own him, after all. I know one day he'll just walk out the door. He won't do it to be cruel, he would never do that. I'll just have exhausted his curiosity and he'll go on to bigger and better things. To tell you the truth I think that day is coming sooner rather than later. That's why I came here, I think it is one last mission for him to have sent me on. When I return he'll have some perfectly good excuse of why we can't go on as partners, or he just won't show up one day. I've always known having him beside me was too good to last."

I gave Vile a brave smile and he crossed his arms and shook his head. I could tell he thought I was being foolish, then very idea of Skulduggery leaving seemed wrong to him. Maybe he was right, I hoped he was.

* * *

The end of the day came, and the portal opened on the cave wall. I looked at Vile. He'd become my friend, my trusted ally, and I hated leaving him alone to face going back, but I knew I had to. I folded him into a hug and felt his arms go around me in return. "Take care of yourself, Lord Vile. You have people who care about you waiting for you to come home. Don't disappoint them." He nodded as we parted, I gave him one last smile before walking through the portal.

* * *

Skulduggery was there, waiting for me, and he folded me into a massive hug, a gloved hand coming up to cradle my head into his shoulder. He walked me away from those who had gathered to greet me, taking me away to small room, closing the door so we could be alone. He hugged me to him even tighter, then spoke. "Valkyrie, I've missed you so much! I chose your disguise based on, well, based on a person I met once. A person who helped me when no one else would. She spent time with me-"

"In a cave?" I offered, and he nodded.

He looked at me, almost unsure of whether or not to continue. "It would seem you and I were lied to. You did go back into the past, but in our reality. This explains why there was always something about you I couldn't quite place. You have no idea what it has been like, waiting for a chance to repay you, to thank you for saving me."

"Skulduggery, you're my partner, my best friend. It is my job to save you."

"Yet you told Lord Vile you thought I'd just leave one day. I suppose I had that coming since I left to become Lord Vile, but I'd never leave you, Valkyrie, ever. It is good to know of course how distracting my voice is, and you apparently feel a lot more for me than you let on. You're quite pretty when you blush, by the way."

I buried my head in my hands. "You're not disappointed, Skulduggery? You weren't ever meant to find out, you know."

"No, I was. Lord Vile needed a reason to live, the thought that he'd one day have a companion as beautiful as you who cared about him, who loved him, was a great motivator. He didn't think anyone could ever love Lord Vile, but you did, you do. You gave him hope, and he should have recognized you the instant he saw you, but of course even if he had he wouldn't have known you were the woman who saved him."

"So where does this leave us" I asked, uncertain, not willing to look at him.

Skulduggery came over and gently cupped my chin in a gloved hand, lifting my face towards him.

"It leaves us wherever we choose to be." He said. Then he kissed me softly, and I was glad I'd been the one to save him.

* * *

 **For those keeping track I listened to 'Lido Shuffle' by Boz Scaggs, 'I Won't Back Down' by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, 'The Living Years' by Mike and The Mechanics, 'The Way It Is' by Bruce Hornsby and The Range, 'Walking in Mephis' by Marc Cohn, 'I'm Not In Love' by 10 CC and 'Back in Time' by Huey Lewis and the News whilst writing.**


	4. Say It Isn't So

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, China, or Skulduggery. I do however own a copy of the art described herein. Val is about 24 here, simply because this was my first story with her being 24. 'Black Roses Red' is an excellent song used in a Valduggery video, and 'Say It Isn't So' is a song by Hall and Oates you need to hear.

* * *

Valkyrie sighed, replacing the black fabric over the wall sculpture. Covered like that, you'd never suspect what it was. And hidden in the shadows behind her desk nobody noticed it. _Not_ , she thought glumly, _that I ever get any visitors_. She and Skulduggery were still partners, but they worked together less and less. So now, to fill the lonely hours, she'd started writing drabbles online. She liked them and was quite good at it. It helped her not think about the new partner Skulduggery must have. Or him surely needing to see China.

Even after all China had done to him, he'd still used her as a source and Valkyrie was no child anymore. She recognized the looks he gave her. _Stop it._ She scolded herself. _No good ever came from thinking like that._

She also knew if Skulduggery ever saw the 'art' behind her, he'd put two and two together as well. But she never had told him. Clearly China was closer to him in age, even if she did help murder his family. Plus China had implied at their first meeting she had a past with Skulduggery. _Did he cheat on his wife?_ Valkyrie shook her head. The story was going nowhere tonight, she shut off the computer and leaned back to rub her eyes. She heard a rustle of fabric behind her, and whirled around, leaping out of the chair to land deftly in a fighting position.

But it had only been the covering on the art falling down. The skeleton swain grinned down at her, mocking her. His lover wrapped around him from behind. It was supposed to be memorial art. Memorial art her right eye. It was 'Death and the Maiden' redone. She just couldn't face it anymore, seeing what she couldn't ever have. She'd bought the stupid thing years ago when she first realized how she felt, had kept it hidden away all these years. Now she had to hide it in darkness. It was better off gone, blotted from existence.

She flicked her You Tube account back on, went to a song, 'Black Roses Red'. As it played she simply stared at the art, then splayed out her hand towards it. There was a soft sigh, and it blew apart into dust. The dust swirling on the air she manipulated and into the fireplace. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. She though, bitterly. Now he would never know, and it would be OK that he didn't call her anymore, or so much as visit. She dug in her desk, found the one photo she had of them together.

She clicked her fingers, drew flame. She tossed the photo on the neatly stacked wood of the fireplace and watched it burn. The song had ended and she saw a suggested video on the screen. 'Say It Isn't So.'


	5. Say It Isn't So II

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery or Ghastly. Say it Isn't So was meant to be a one shot, but I couldn't stand to see such good friends stay apart. Val is again 24 since it is the next day. Story is from for Val's POV. Oh, this is an older story it isn't my fault Landy drove a cart and horses through it with LSOTDM. But that's why it is called fan fiction, kittens.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling stupid, ashamed and cheapened. The love was supposed to go away when I destroyed all the things that remind me of him. That's how these things are supposed to work. I'd let him go, I'd let China win. Why wasn't I happy now, or at peace?

Miserable I slunk into my office after dressing and put some coffee on. I got out Uncle Gordon's Echo Stone. I needed the company. He blinked in pleasure at seeing my office for the first time. Done in outdated yet classic style it was everything a film noir detective could desire. Only this wasn't film noir, and I was now seriously regretting my decorating decisions. I had thought I had forever with Skulduggery.

Gordon chattered on about how it reminded him of one of his greatest novels, then saw the look on my face and fell silent. I shrugged. He'd known the truth for some time, he'd noticed the missing sculpture and the cold ashes in the fireplace. Awkwardly, he tried to hug me, stopping just before he would have went through me. I let him hold me for a moment, then stepped back. I didn't want his pity, I just wanted to know when I'd feel better. Before either of us could say anything, my mobile rang. Ghastly.

"Elder Bespoke, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked cheerfully. Teasing him about his status always made me smile.

I heard him groan in response. "Don't call me that, it's creepy. I need your help. It's about Skulduggery. Something's gone wrong. He's in my office, catatonic. He just walked in, sat down, and that was it. " I could hear the concern in his voice and felt terrible for Skulduggery.

"Are you sure he isn't meditating? You know he's impossible to get to when he's like that."

"No it isn't that. Something's wrong, Valkyrie. I know you two have been on the outs, but he needs you right now. I do not want the Sanctuary doctors getting a hold of him like this. They'd lock him up and he'd never see daylight again." I felt my heart drop and mumbled I'd be there as soon as possible.

* * *

I'd driven recklessly and I skidded my blue 1950 Chevy Sedan Convertible halfway onto the Sanctuary lawn. I figured they could bill me for the damage later. I raced in to Ghastly's office. Skulduggery was now lying huddled in his chair, shivering. He took one look at me and buried his head in the arm of the chair. His hat had fallen to the floor, but he made no move to retrieve it. Then he had to be sick, or something was seriously wrong. Damn that woman. What had she done to him?

I moved towards him slowly, only hearing the soft keening sound he was making as I got close. "Skulduggery." I breathed, reaching out to softly stroke his skull. He flinched, made another miserable sound. My heart broke, but I couldn't stop trying to comfort him, not when he was like this. Eventually he relaxed underneath my touch, tilted his head out to peer at me. If it were possible I knew his eye sockets would have been filled with tears.

"Valkyrie? It is you? You're real?" He held out a beseeching hand and I took it, giving in when it turned into a grab and he easily lifted me into the chair with him. His grip was tight as if he thought I were another hallucination. He buried the front of his skull in my shoulder, still shaking. Whatever he had seen or been through had terrified him.

I looked up at Ghastly who nodded and left us, closing the door to his office behind him. I held Skulduggery close to me, my mind whirling. What had happened to him? Had China rejected him? I must of growled her name out without realizing it, because his head came up and he looked at me, confused. "What does China have to do with anything?" He asked.

"I'm assuming you're like this because she did something to you." He sat up at my words looking at me in surprise.

"I haven't even seen China since the day I found out she killed my family. What would make you think I did?" His words made my face flush.

"Because she told me you had. She was absolutely gloating about it. Gloating! So I believed her." Skulduggery made a sympathetic sound and pulled me towards him.

"I don't know what she told you, Valkyrie, but it isn't true. This explains...she told you several months ago, yes? That explains it then. I thought I'd done something to make you angry, so I started staying away. I had no idea she'd told you something like that or I would have never stayed away. As you can see, it, well, being away from you didn't work out too well for me. I haven't had any cases because I couldn't, not without you. Ghastly told you nothing because I assumed you wanted it that way. To be away from me. " His skeletal fingers stroked my hair softly, the other arm wrapped firmly around me. He continued, softly.

"When you didn't call anymore and didn't ask Ghastly about me, I assumed the worst. I assumed you didn't care for me. I didn't even want to be alive anymore, not without you by my side, but I kept living, or rather, I kept being a living skeleton."

"The only thing that gave me hope was the thought that one day you'd come rescue me again, like you did before. That you'd forgive me for whatever it was I did to make you so very angry with me. If there ever was anything, ever at any time, I apologize and I beg your forgiveness. Whatever I did, it was inexcusable. I, just, I can't... Please don't leave me alone, not again." He fell silent at last, the soft keening sound returning. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to show him there was nothing to forgive. But he needed to be told.

I cupped his skeletal face in my hands, making sure he was looking at me. "Skulduggery Pleasant, you are the world's most exasperating man. I might be young and stupid enough to fall for what China said, but you, you're the one who should have known better. When have I ever stayed away from you willingly, outside of the whole Lord Vile thing?" He smiled faintly.

I pulled him toward me, not wanting to face him as I continued. "China saw the truth, she'd known about it for some time and used it to hurt me. I don't know why. Maybe to get revenge on you, maybe, because as you warned me, she can't be trusted. She told me you'd been to see her, often. I don't think I need to tell you the rest." He pulled back to look at me in confusion, then comprehension dawned on his skeletal features.

"You love me?" He asked, wonder in his velvety voice. I only nodded. I couldn't speak, suddenly I didn't want to be there, didn't want to hear his 'I love you as a friend' speech. I tried to rise, to make excuses, but he hushed me by placing his bony fingertips to my lips.

"Don't talk." He ordered. "Just nod yes or shake your head no, got it?" I nodded yes.

"You love me?" I nodded.

"You do realize I am dead?" I nodded again, smiling.

"You're quite aware I am a skeleton?" I nodded furiously, pleased with the playful tone in his voice.

"You realize I could arrest you for all sorts of things if I said I loved you and you accepted me as I am?" I broke into a huge grin. I couldn't help myself, and nodded happily.

"Well then, if you realize I can arrest you at any time, and that it is a crime in any decent society to become my wife I'll let you speak now." I flung my arms around him, God, I was being mushy, but I didn't care.

"Of course I'll marry you, Skulduggery. You don't even have to ask." He snorted in amusement.

"I didn't ask, I implied. You do know you'd be my wife in name only? There isn't a vicar alive or dead who'd marry you to me. But if you can accept that, and trust me to be loyal, because I will be loyal, then we are married as far as I'm concerned."

I smiled up at him and nodded, willingly giving in as he pressed his teeth to my lips. There wasn't anything in the world I had ever wanted more.

* * *

 **Yeah I know, kind of mushy. But I swore I heard Skulduggery protesting the idea of him ever abandoning Valkyrie mightily. Plus I really like Val and couldn't bear to see her stay unhappy.**


End file.
